We finally know what’s wrong with me.  In a sense. 

After several blood tests it turns out the reason that my face occasionally explodes is idiomatic; meaning no one really knows for sure.  Brill.  I also have mild leukocytosis: my white blood cell count is 13.4, the normal range being 4-11.  It’s hardly a burden and at least now I can get get rid of my EpiPens (good job, because I left them at my brother’s house.  Along with my inhaler.  Around 300 miles away.  And I blamed the cinema.  And had the cinema spend all day looking for them.  And then my brother forgot to bring them to Birmingham.)

The consultant told me that stress is a trigger but not a cause: the above photograph was taken in the toilets at Birmingham Airport, shortly before flying to Australia.  This was after holding ice on my eyes for 20 minutes.  Fit, yes?  I wouldn’t have let me on the flight.  It took my 24 hours of travel for the swelling to go down.  No wonder I got felt up in a booth at Dubai.